Ep 111. Pornography

In the LDS Church we’re counseled to stay away from pornography and taught that it can have a negative impact on relationships and on the home and family. Today I want to teach you more about what goes on in the brain with pornography and my goal is to minimize the damage that pornography can cause in your home and your life if you or someone you love struggles with it. I’ve learned a lot from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about this topic and I don’t believe there is a need to be disgusted, fearful or worried. Your brain may believe that being worried and disgusted is useful, but I assure you it is not. What if viewing porn, while not an ideal choice, is a result of the same brain patterns as eating brownies with ice cream? What if, while it’s not recommended, it’s also nothing to be so fearful or shaming over? What would change in the way we talk about and help someone through this addiction if we completely removed the disgust and shame and fear? Let’s begin with us. Today I’m going to teach you how.

4 replies
  1. Ida Ewing says:

    Jody – Great podcast. We need to challenge our shame narrative around pornography and deal with it in more healthy ways. You did a wonderful job of exploring the process and meanings of porn use. I want to challenge you on one thing though. You never once used a feminine pronoun or talked about daughters or wives viewing porn. This is not a gender issue. Making it a gender issue reinforces our LDS story that women are asexual, never have urges, curiosities or desires and only exist sexually to deal with the more accepted sexuality of the men in their lives – husbands and sons. How is a woman or girl supposed to deal in a healthy way with her experience with porn if it is only framed in terms of men? Talk about adding a level of shame and isolation! I understand that you may be speaking from your client base experience but again, it is acceptable (if difficult) to deal with a husband’s or son’s use of porn. But is it the same to be open about a wife’s or daughter’s struggle with it? Something to think about. I love your podcast. And Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. I consider you both to be women of wisdom and substance.

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  2. Unkown says:

    Hello Jody! First I want to start of by stating that I appreciate your time and effort. As you may already know your podcast are extremely useful. I am not an LDS mother. I am a young new mom who recently got married. Before stumbling across your podcast I was having many problems in my marriage, barley marking the year point of being married. My son is 11 months old. Soon after being married I discovered my husbands porn “addiction”. At first what you were introducing to me was not making sense. I started on podcast 1 and have worked my way up to this one. Everything was at the right time and place. You are exactly right, I was having thoughts in my head that were not helpful, like ( my body changed, I’m not the way I used to be, I am not good enough, He doesn’t want to be with me, why hasn’t he approached me). This was making me act mean and cold towards him. I was also harming myself with these negative thoughts always being in a bad mood and wanting to get revenge.
    One day I opened up podcast on my phone and I began to scroll threw information on parenting. I know it was God who put you in my life and I cannot express how thankful I am. I do recognize that I am still learning applying the things that I am learning. I will say sometimes it’s hard. You bring so much value to my life. I love your dedication and hard work, Thank you, I Look forward to more awesome and amazing podcast.
    Much Love to you and your family.

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  3. Sandra Turley says:

    Wow. Jody. You have changed everything I thought I would teach my children about pornography (and actually, how I will address any of their questions about sexuality) with this powerful podcast. I was directed to your podcast through a friend that said you had mentioned listening to my music in one of your podcasts…and now I am the one listening to your “music.” You are creating and sharing such goodness and clarity. Thank you for all you are doing. Between listing to you, and Brooke Castillo this fall I feel like I’ve been in a college course that is the most fascinating and important I could have ever taken. Thank you!!

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