5 Ways to Be the Girl Everybody Loves

 

Every single human on the planet has a part of them that wants validation and approval from other people. It’s not selfish and it’s not necessarily a sign of insecurity. It’s just a basic need. Certainly some people have a much higher need for approval than others, but if you find yourself wanting others to like you, you’re not alone.

I teach a lot about releasing ourselves of the need for approval from others and I think it’s important to always remember that what other people think of us is much more about them than it is about us. But I don’t believe there is anything wrong with enjoying the feeling of getting a compliment or knowing you have raving fans. The more positive validation we get, the easier it becomes to love ourselves, which is when we show up the strongest and do the most good in the world. So here are 5 ways to grow your fan base and be that girl who everybody loves.

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I Could Be an Ophthamologist

I recently decided I am exactly like an Ophthamologist. Except I only vaguely understand how the eye works and I don’t have the first clue what those numbers on my contact lens prescription mean. I don’t have a PhD and I don’t wear a lab coat. Ever. But still…I am a lot like an Ophthamologist because I am a coach. And a darn good one at that.

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No Accidents

This is the third time I’ve been diagnosed with gestational diabetes during pregnancy and the second time I’ve been taking insulin shots 4 times a day to manage it. When I received the diagnosis at 11-weeks into my pregnancy, my doctor indicated that I’d failed the sugar test so badly there is a chance I might just be diabetic and it might not go away after the baby is born.

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How to Want Without Needing

 

I hear a lot of women talk about loving babies and how the decision to be done having kids was so difficult knowing they would not have a baby again. While I can appreciate many of the things babies have to offer, I truly don’t share that sentiment. At all. Sorry folks.

I experienced that magical all-consuming love the instant each of my babies were born, but as a general rule, I think babies are very challenging. They cry and I often don’t know why. They are fragile I’m afraid I might break them. They are understandably freaked out and their little bodies are trying to figure out things like eating and breathing and pooping. Poor things. I completely feel for babies everywhere, but being one of the main people responsible for one of them is not my favorite phase of motherhood.

But I LOVE me a two-year old.

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Anything But Fine

 

When I was 38 weeks pregnant with my first child, I went to the grocery store one night to pick up a few things. A gentleman in a hurry accidentally cut me off in the isle with his cart and almost kept going but then I turned around and he saw my gigantic pregnant belly. Instantly he slowed down and apologized. “I’m so sorry!” he said. “I didn’t realize you were in a delicate condition.”

That brings me to something else I’ve noticed lately in my own self and in the conversations I’ve been having with my clients. There’s this illusion (it shows up extra strong at church) that everyone is doing just fine. Everyone smiles and is kind and says they are fine. I say I am fine when people ask me, and they say they are fine too. I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re all just fine, right? Everyone looks nice in their church clothes and everyone seems to have things mostly together.

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Fear and Worry and Pregnant at 40

Advanced Maternal age

When you’re 40 and pregnant they say a lot of words to you that you don’t want to hear.

They say things like high risk, cerebral palsy, genetic abnormalities, no guarantees, possible disorders, down syndrome, anomalies, advanced maternal age, increased risk, never certain, just in case, testing, screening, and risk factors.

 When Dr. Murphy said all those words to me a couple of months ago I wasn’t mad at him because he is one of the kindest people I know and I’m incapable of being mad at someone like Dr. Murphy. But here’s what I heard when he said those words.

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How to Get Motivated to Get It Done

“I have a whole list of things I want to do, but when I do finally have time to get to it, I don’t know where to begin or I don’t feel like doing it so I do nothing.”

I hear this from clients all the time and I can relate to it myself. Can you? For many of the people I talk to a day like this leaves them feeling bad about the lack of work they got done and even worse about their own lack of motivation and drive. They think something must be wrong and what I’d like to suggest today is that in fact, nothing has gone wrong at all.

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Perfect – Just As You Are

I made Oliver this blanket when he was still in my belly incubating. Although I’ve been sewing for many years, I’m still a novice and my affinity for shortcuts and quickie methods doesn’t always serve my sewing projects well in the end.

The orange fabric on this blanket is called minkie. I love how soft and plush minkie is on a blanket, but because it is stretchy and slippery, it’s extremely difficult to sew. Thus, this blanket is a bit of a sewing disaster. The minkie didn’t line up with the flannel so I had to fudge it. (Fudge = very technical sewing term coined by my mother years ago.) If you lay it out flat you can see what a mess it is. Every time I wash it I have to readjust the pieces to turn it from a wad of fabric back into a blanket, but you know what? Oliver doesn’t care one bit.

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You’ll Never Get Enough of What You Don’t Really Need

My body, mind and spirit all need to be fed and all in different ways and I’ve noticed something interesting about each of them.

My body primarily needs food, exercise and sleep, all of which I know how to give it. But sometimes it gets feeling bad and it needs something else. Medicine? Extra hydration? Pants with more stretch? It’s hard to tell sometimes but when it speaks up to tell me it needs something I do everything in my power to figure out what that is and then feed it. Because feeling physical pain or discomfort is no fun and until I remedy it I don’t care about much else. My body is the loudest of the three when it needs something.

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What Your Clothes Are Creating In Your Life

Some of you won’t like what I’m about to say. Some of you will vehemently disagree and like me a bit less for saying it. But I’m going to say it anyway and the reason why is because I don’t write these messages in an attempt to gain your approval. I write them because I love you. I want to see you be your best version of yourself most days and compassionate and loving toward yourself on the days you just can’t.

So in an attempt to help you reach those two goals, today I’m telling you to do something so simple but often neglected:

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