How You Feel is Your Responsibility, but Not Your Fault

Yesterday I told my kids about the time I stole a pack of bubble gum from the store. I was about 6-years-old. I really wanted bubble gum and my mom said “no.” I said, “yes” and I slipped it in my pocket.

Because I was a very generous and thoughtful thief, I offered a piece to my big brother Jared once I got home. He promptly turned me in and I found myself apologizing to the store manager and paying for the gum out of my piggy bank. (Note to self: Big brothers are not cool.)

Read more

Why Your Mind Thinks It IS a Competition

You’ve heard it over and over again. It’s not a competition. I say it to my kids and I say it to my clients and I say it to myself every darn day and yet my mind loves to go to a place of comparison. Especially when I think I’m the loser in this Pepsi challenge sans Pepsi.

Read more

Tricks Your Married Mind Will Play

I have a dear friend getting married this weekend. I’m so thrilled for her. She’s wise enough not to fall for “happily ever after” but strong enough to create any kind of world she wants with this brilliant man. I’ve not yet met said man, but based on the one big choice I’m aware he’s making, I think he must be brilliant.

Given the wedding is approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about how marriage begins as a fairy tale and then takes a course you can neither expect nor plan for. I’m thinking about how it’s such hard work some days, and painful some years, and then other times it’s a gift you know you don’t deserve and can’t imagine living without. These are some of the things I believe about marriage today:

Read more

To the Rebellious Mormon Woman

My Dad really hates to be told what to do and my mom, in her own words, loves things that are “irreverent.” So you can see why obedience is a challenge for me, the product of their mischevious DNA.

Read more

5 Reasons to Keep Sending Christmas Cards

My mailbox is located a full block away from my house and generally, the only mail I receive is a bunch of credit card applications disguised to look like the checks I’ve been expecting ever since Oprah told me about The Secret. Since I hate getting punked and I’m too lazy to load the baby into the stroller and walk my hiney down there, I rarely check the mailbox. I’m positive the mail lady hates me. (Note: Spell Check does not recognize the word “punked” or “hiney.” Come on Microsoft. It’s nearly 2015!)

But everything changes in December. Read more

Look Up

Once a week, I teach a Turbo Kick class at the gym with around 25 participants on average. In the last month or so, attendance at my class has dwindled a bit. Last night I showed up to teach Turbo Kick and there were TWO people there to take my class. TWO PEOPLE.

My mind immediately tried on thoughts and searched for evidence. Read more

Mom Secrets – What I Teach and Why Part III

When I was in High School I secretly wanted to have 8 children. Not right then…but when I was older and married. I kept it a secret because I was pretending to be cool, but I secretly wanted nothing more than to be a mom.

Soon after my husband and I had our first child, I secretly wanted to get pregnant again right away. I kept it a secret because the logical side of my brain said I was crazy, but I secretly wanted to get pregnant again because my entire heart loved the feeling of having a baby in my home, so why not have another? Read more

The Husband Manual

We recently bought a new car. I feel very spoiled and fancy driving around breathing in that new car smell, not even wondering whether or not it will start in the Target parking lot and not tossing goldfish onto the ground “for the birds” as I get my infant out of his car seat. Not yet anyway.

The owner’s manual for this car is a couple of inches thick and while I used to only pull out an owner’s manual every 6 months when the time changed and I had to look up how to adjust the clock, my good friend Tara taught me that the owner’s manual is actually very useful. It’s full of tips and tricks about what you can expect from your shiny new car. Features you may not even know were there. And you know those little lights that come on near the dashboard from time to time? You can look them up in the owner’s manual and sometimes there’s a SIMPLE fix instead of worrying about how much money it’s going to cost you or just ignoring it until something REALLY breaks like I used to do. Amazing! It’s all there in the manual and I love it!

And you wanna know something else interesting? Most of us ladies have manuals like this for our guys. Read more

Curb Your Approval Addiction

I know many people who don’t like public speaking and in fact go to great lengths to avoid it. I, however, am not one of those people. I completely dig speaking to groups and it might sound like I’m bragging when I say that but as usual, this is another confession of a weakness of mine.

As a very young girl I was given several “opportunities” to give speeches at school and at church and each time, I received so many compliments from people afterwards, that I became addicted. Addicted not only to speaking, but also to the approval I received afterwards.

And that’s only one area of my life where I became addicted to approval. Read more

Guilt and Shame

I’m a TV girl. When I moved into my new town a few years ago and a very nice girl invited me to her book club I said, “ummm….do you have a TV club?”

I also like movies. Anything on a screen is up there on my list of “let’s do it.” I didn’t read the Twilight series or the Hunger Games because I believe books are the ultimate spoiler of the movie experience, which I hold sacred. Of course the book was better than the movie. Nobody spoiled the ending for you! No thank you… I don’t have room for that kind of disappointment in my life. Read more